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January
30, 2004
So Himself continues to not be up to His usual fiestiness.
He says He's back to feeling about 90% okay - hopefully 100%
comes along soon.
i think He's got a bit of the winter blahs thing
happening, and j's idea of sending Him off to a tanning
booth is looking better and better. Ten minutes
under a few rays might be just the ticket! And
seeing the look on the attendant's face when this big
black male comes in for a tan would be worth the price of
admission!
But seriously, He does get the winter blues - it happens
every year. And i shouldn't be surprised that this
year is the same. i try to be patient, and mostly i
succeed - but it's hard to know what to do with all this
pent up "waiting" energy all the time. i
can only paint so much and write so much! i need to
be flogged and ordered about, damnit!
Oops. Okay. That's a definite example of
topping from the bottom.
Yesterday they had a retirement party for one of the
employees. Fancy schmancy thing (she was a senior
exec) complete with wine and cheese and trimmings.
It was interesting. i'm not much of a networking
type of person, which i'm sure is detrimental to my moving
up in the corporate world sometimes, but it does mean i
can sit back and observe others at work. It's
amazing how much b*tt kissing goes on. (Heh - sorry
Sir, two swear words already - but they just seemed to
fit.)
i can't bring myself to do the b-kissing. i'd rather get
ahead on my own merit - the hard work and results should
speak for themselves. i know i'm being delusional,
but hey, someone has to have ideals and stick to
them!
Anyway, at the end of the event, there was a ton of
leftover cheese and etc. The retiree and a few
others decided that it shouldn't be wasted and the fellow
in charge of the organizing of facilities said that
anything left would just go to the cleaning staff, so help
themselves. Which they then proceeded to do. A
good portion of it was wrapped up and taken home, and a
very small tray was brought out midmorning today, for
others to snack on.
And something about it all really bugged me. What it
was, finally clicked in to me sometime in the middle of the
night. i used to be a "cleaning staff."
So there these well-paid people were, helping themselves
to rather large shares of expensive cheese. Not just
"well-paid" people - VERY well paid
people. They can easily afford gourmet cheeses -
even higher quality than what was presented there.
And they had just been told that what was left over would
be left for the cleaning staff to have. That fact
apparently didn't even register.
i couldn't do it. i know how much money you don't make
as a cleaning person. i was one. i know how
much food a cleaning person generally has in the
refrigerator - especially if they are the sole financial
provider. And even if they are doing just fine, and thank
you very much - an unexpected treat at the end of the day
is a sure way to bring a smile to anyone's
face.
As i stood there watching everyone help themselves, the
thought went through my mind; "Sure, having a
nice chunk of quality cheese in the fridge is always a
nice - but did i really need that cheese?"
No, i didn't. But apparently the other employees
didn't think the same.
Now i'm struggling with the thought that maybe i'm just
being too judgmental. Most of these people are good
natured and mean well - maybe they just didn't stop to
think, and i should have spoken up. i might have
been labeled a do-gooder because of it, but i think the
bigger risk would have been causing them to be
embarrassed. So i was caught between a rock and a
hard-place. Either way, being nice had the potential
to turn into a disaster.
i wish all of this had clicked in right then - instead of
the middle of the night. i would have been nice,
regardless of the consequences.
PS
- Today's quote comes from kesha! Thanks, kesha :-)
 
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