April 10,  2004

       Happy Easter - or whatever other good wishes are appropriate for this particular weekend - and even just happy long weekend!  i wish it lasted for 4 days ... heck 6 would be even better.

      It's been a quiet weekend so far for us - busy for Himself though, as He had to rebuild my computer YET AGAIN.  Sigh.  i do seem to have challenges with this machine that only a total reformat can fix.  i had the laptop to use as a backup this past week - but no apps to be able to update here.  And of course, when you know you CAN'T write, that's when you want to.

      So a good part of yesterday was spent working on the computer, which meant a late dinner.  Tonight will be much the same i think - we spent the day packing up His mom's house - so that's delayed things a bit.  Although from the wonderful smells coming from the kitchen at the moment, i have a feeling it will be well worth the wait.

      Easter weekends are so different now.  His daughter is busy until tomorrow, and my kids are off having lives of their own - meaning work mostly.  i have to admit i miss the family thing of the obligatory ham and such - if this is what it's going to be like as we get older, i'm not liking it very much.

      my mother always cooked a big meal - confusing as she was for me, she was a real stickler for holiday meals and i enjoyed that.  And then as she got older, and discovered crock pots, she'd take all the bones from the turkey and add a bunch of veggies to make the never-ending soup.  Which was always surprisingly good.  Surprising because in truth she wasn't a stunning cook.  She enjoyed good food however - and in spite of the fact that i'm 110% positive she and Himself would have eventually killed each other - she would have been really mad at herself for loving His food.  And of course, always show up when invited.

      Maybe memories are what holidays become about, as we get older.  i remember my mother's crock-pot soups, and Himself's mother's fancy teacups, that we would use after dinner.  She liked her tea the same way as me - very light - and i was always sure to pour hers first from the pot.  The last time she was here at the house, i made her tea in a special cup that i'd kept out for when she visited.  

      i remember how i used to tease my own mother about her tea.  Always in a firm mug, with a ton of milk added.  i use to tell her she was really just having milk with a touch of tea.  

      So many memories.  And now i'm sitting here feeling sad, and teary ... and yet not bad really.  If that makes any sense at all.  Just a bit heart-weary.

      And missing all three of my kids right now.

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