November 18, 2001

      i've been sitting here staring blindly at the monitor.  i have the urge to write but feel like i have nothing to say still.  i hate that feeling.

      So i went exploring for new hand pics instead.   One of these days i'm actually going to buy a camera and start taking some of my own snapshots - but for now i'm finding some rather interesting websites and learning things. (Note the pic at the bottom - i've included some details about it.)

      The worst of all this is that i've been awake since just a bit after 6 a.m.  Bleck.  i'm falling into the world of earlier risers - all week i looked forward to sleeping in but my body has decided otherwise.  i'm resisting having a cup of tea with the hope that i'll get tired and can crawl back into bed without waking up Himself.  He's still asleep - not snoring this time though, which i hope means a better rest.  What is it about the male body?  They seem to be able to fall asleep at the drop of a pin, whereas women toss and turn forever?  No wonder men at the age of 50 still look great.  

     Maybe i should get mean and go give Him a jab in the ribs.  Share these dark circles under my eyes, damnit!

     It feels good to have the journal moved over here.  And even better not to have to deal with the popups anymore.  They were so annoying.  There's not much i can do about the old entries however, unless i remove the java script used for popups page by page.  i might do that at some point, but for now i've just cleared out as far back as last month only.  And that took forever.  For some reason the search and replace won't work en masse for that script.  It did for everything else i wanted to do, but not for the java.  Drat.

     i'm babbling.

     Don't i have anything intelligent to say? Controversial?  Daring?

     Well controversial maybe ... or just plain stupid after last night's debate with Himself.  

     We got onto the topic of the upcoming play that the theater company He's involved with will be presenting next year.  And some of the trials and tribulations of the activities surrounding the producing of said play.  A lot of it baffles me, but i think the gist of the problems is the fact that there are a lot of emotional, yet highly artistic people trying to work together.  A lot of them pre-menopausal women.

     Sounds kind of like a box full of firecrackers with their wicks lit eh?  Okay i'll try to be nicer.

     Anyway the conversation went on from the problems to the actual play itself and my interpretation of it.  i admit to being slightly jaded since the playwright is errr ..... has ummm ... artistic desires (i'm trying to be nice) ... that would test the patience of a saint!  Oops.  Slipped there.

     my comment was that i liked the play but that i didn't think it was a stunning play.  Not that earth-shatteringly deep (or words to that effect.)  When i first saw the trial version of it i did indeed enjoy it immensely, but i came away from it with the idea that it merely dealt with issues that are commonplace.  Wrong thing to say!

     Apparently it deals with black issues.  Black as in skin colour i mean.  Part of the story line is a comical bunch of old folks trying to rescue a war uniform from the local museum and i will grant that this is definitely presented as a "be black and be proud" theme.  But the other part of the play is that the daughter of one of the old folks has just lost her own daughter (she died of meningitis) and her guilt about not recognizing the symptoms (she's a health professional) and how it's emotionally debilitated her.  And debilitated her marriage.

     Well i take that as female issues.  Things that happen to people regardless of their colour.  But Himself pointed out that black people haven't had the opportunity to present the fact (artistically) that they have these issues just like everyone else.  i think i follow what He means, but i think the problem in my mind is that i identified with the mother/wife/daughter aspect - therefore missed the 'colour' message.  And i'd still hazard a guess - opinion - that if you put a mixed race audience of women-only in the theater for one night, the majority of them will identity the same way i did.

     He seems to think i missed the colour message 'cause i'm a white person.  i don't think that's valid at all.  Then we got onto the topic of small towns and how they aren't culturally aware.  Well, no, they won't know about things like multiculturalism since as a small town, there just aren't that many cultures to explore.  That doesn't mean they are all backwoods ignoramuses either!  Being originally a small town gal, i'd like to think i'm just a tad more progressive than the rubber boots and sheep dung image.  

     Then we moved onto the childhood experiences, and how His was oppressive.  At which point i got my back up and stated my own childhood was pretty oppressive as well.  i know what it's like to grow up that way too.  He's not the only one to have a bad experience.  And that was then, this is now and i like to think life is improving somewhat.  And i told Him He was wearing His colour on His sleeve.

     Sometimes i'm a lot more brave than i should be.  Especially when i've had some wine.  Sigh.

     So anyway, now i'm sitting here wondering if He understood that i wasn't trying to insult and that i actually enjoyed the debate.  If for no other reason than i was able to form opinions, state them, feel slightly intelligent - and not cry during the presentation.  Which is what i usually do.  

     i think i learned something as well.  Learned that while i might be colour-blind, there's still a whole bunch of people out there who aren't.  That discrimination does still exist and maybe i shouldn't be so blithely unaware of that fact.  But when does it stop?  When do people stop seeing the wrappings on the package and understand that what the package contains is far more important?

     Will they ever?

                

Note:  pics below are clickable for navigation