December 22, 2001

      i can't believe i'm actually accomplishing this daily entry thing.  It's been a struggle - but the insanity of the last week or so seems to be slowing down a bit, so at least i'll have more writing time.

     Himself and i have had a busy day doing last minute shopping for food and presents.  He decided to start things off with a quick spanking using His hands and a switch this morning though.  And that was yummy.  i love waking up beside Him - snuggling into each other's warmth and then getting 'accosted' by His sheer force of will.  It always makes me feel fragile - and wanton.  All at the same time.

     Much later, we both got busy doing the house things - which involved having to pick up all my clothes.  Ick.  i settled in to do some of the work i'd brought home with me as well, and He went downstairs to make breakfast.  He decided cornbread would be part of it and it was delicious!  

     The rest of the afternoon involved going to a gazillion different stores and the big guy managed to keep calm through the insanity of it all.  Where do all these people come from anyway?   But now we are home again, relaxing before it's time to make dinner and my kids arrive.  

     This will be the fourth christmas that we've shared, the third that i've been living here.  i'm always surprised at how each one has touched me in a different way - the first one was during our period of getting to know each other and had a sweetness of it's own that will stay with me forever.

     The second christmas He was sick - and i'll never forget how He pulled Himself out of bed to get as far as the day bed and then spent the rest of the day languishing there in His gray silk pyjamas - trying to look elegant and stop shivering, all at the same time.  That was also the first year i didn't have my kids with me - they came for an earlier celebration and He took us out to dinner.  He also held me when i cried.

     Last year we had His mother here, and His daughter along with my kids.  We were crammed into what is now our bedroom (it was a living room then) and loving every minute of it.  We also went to His brother's house and had another christmas dinner there.  i loved watching His mother perched on the guest bed, blankets all about her, writing things.  i served her tea there.  It was perfect.  She's perfect.

     This year it seems we are back to a holiday of sharing in bits and pieces.  Like our second year.  And we have more room to move around.  We even have the regulation tree.  But there's something that hasn't changed during all these holidays together.  And that's our spirit of sharing.  

     Sometimes we get impatient with all the preparations and the hit to the budget, and the way it can be tiring.  But we still do it.  i believe that's because we love each other - and it's an opportunity - no matter how commercialistic or organized or whatever else one can say about this season - it's an opportunity to show each other all the love that we have.  

     What has changed is my love for the big guy.  Himself.  Master.  my love for Him has become deeper.  Richer and mature.

     i've let Him "in".       

                

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