December 30, 2001

      One more day!  Just one, and then i've made it through the entire month of Holidailies.  And it wasn't easy!  i will concede it was a great exercise in writing daily however.  Even when there were a lot of moments that i just had nothing to say.  i felt like i babbled through some of it.  Heck.  i'm babbling now.

     The house is clean!  i mean really clean!  i know i mentioned this yesterday, but last night when we came home from S's house, and walked into a neat and tidy and clean house, i cannot begin to describe the feeling of peace it gave me.  And this morning when i woke up, i didn't feel torn between being here at the computer catching up on work, and feeling like i should be in one of the rooms sweeping or dusting.  

     i guess i'm just obsessive.  i don't mean to be, but a cluttered environment really makes me edgy.  Even at work, no matter how much i manage to mess up my desk during the day, i always put things away before leaving.  That way when i go back in the next morning, everything is fresh and new.  Orderly.  Which helps me feel confident and organized.  i just don't like the feeling of having to clean something up, before i can actually start doing the task at hand - be that cooking or working on a computer.  

     i guess it's probably a pride thing as well.  i love this house and the way it looks.  i want people to come in and see a reflection of who we are - what art we like, what furniture makes us happy.  i don't want them coming in and noticing a mess first.  Most of the time they probably don't (well except when S puts her hand over her heart in shock as she gazes into the office - the one room that i didn't touch yesterday.)  In some adult part of my brain i know people come to visit us, not the rooms.  But the other part of my brain has a deep need to have people look at me in a good light, and my house clean becomes part of all that.

     So anyway, now i've just spent the morning sleeping in till 10 (that's two days in a row!) then working on a website and it's nearly noon.  Still in my robe.  Perfect.  

     i'm gone...

                

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