January 17, 2002

       So my daughter is officially a 19 year old today.  It seems like just yesterday i was holding all 7 lbs. 4 oz., of her in my arms.  And now she's still a skinny wee thing, but all grown up.  

      She seem so young though!  i am positive i was a lot older at that age.  Maybe because of being raised the way i was - understanding the hard knocks of life and learning lessons i should never have been put through.  Or maybe it's because i'd already been to Indonesia and back - and lived on my own a long time.  At her age i was in hairdressing school and dating the man that would become my husband and her father.  But then, maybe i grew up too fast.

      She's just getting her first apartment and first job and will start school in another 4 weeks.  i don't think she'll be married as young as i was - and i don't think i'll be a grandmother any time soon.  But that's okay.  Maybe she'll learn the things that i missed.  Like how to live by herself and how to take your time and not be with someone because everyone else thinks you should be.  Maybe she'll learn about relationships and how to make them work at a younger age than i did.

     i hope so anyway.  It's taken me forever to get to an understanding of the how to's of relationships.

     And the way Himself and i have been grumbling at each other this week, it seems i'm still on the learning curve.  Well, i suppose we aren't grumbling in a truly bad way - not the knock down drag 'em out sort of way - just the oh my gawd we are exhausted kind of grumbling that ends with us cuddled tight against each other in the middle of the night anyway.  

      i've learned something today though.  A mother never stops worrying about her kids - no matter how old they are.  And that became very clear to me as i talked to my daughter on the phone and she told me all her upcoming plans.  But i guess i have to give her the space to spread her wings and try to fly.  

      i'll be waiting in my own wings if she needs me.  

      Cool things that happened in the corporate world:

      They purchased a leather attaché case for me to cart all my stuff around in.  Plus a business card holder for the gazillion cards i keep being given.  AND i get my own business cards!  How cool is that?

      Something i haven't done before is the self evaluation thing though.  It's  weird, and proving to be a lot harder than i expected.  i mean, what do you do?  Answer the "willingness to learn" question with an; "only if i have to ..."? i copped out and hit the check box "adequate" for most of the questions and put in a blurb of strengths and weaknesses that my friend D helped me with.  i'm sure my immediate VP will flesh out all the rest of it for me, especially since he's the aggressive hyperactive sort.  And then rap my knuckles for not bragging about myself.  i think he's figured out i'm not the type to do that however.  

      And i don't think they'd let me have business cards if they weren't keeping me anyway.

     Heh.  It's almost time for the summer office wardrobe .... CHARGE!  

                

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