February 17, 2002

      We were supposed to go to a dinner and dance type thingy on Friday night.  Friday afternoon He called me at work and said He'd decided to opt out of it - that He would rather stay home and have a quiet dinner with me.  How could i refuse?  And He sounded so much more cheerful than He has been lately.  i guessed correctly that we would have a nice evening.

     He'd gone to the store and bought two beautiful steaks, some ornamental bamboo and pussy willows, and some wine for me.  He's decided to give up drinking entirely for Lent.  i'm not being held to the same idea, although i have decided to only have a bit of wine on the weekends.  i'm treating it like a reward for getting through the corporate week.

     So we had a really nice, nice dinner and lots of chatting.  Just a general catching up and relaxing sort of time that was very much needed.  And it continued into Saturday, with a few extra twists.

     We woke up slowly - just enjoying the idea of not having to jump right out of bed.  i lay on my side facing Him for awhile, running my hand over His body and teasing Him until He became aroused.  When i moved onto my back He grabbed me, mumbling something about "... not leaving Him like that" and the next thing i knew i was enjoying a mouthful of ... brown sugar shall we say. Heh.  Yummy.

     Much later, we were back to lying quietly together.  i asked Him nicely if we could have a D/s day.  A kinky D/s day.  And He said yes.  First thing i could do was go make tea.  

     "i do that every day already!" i said.

     "Okay, so do it naked."  He responded.

     i mumbled something - i don't remember what, and He said "... do it naked on your knees then!"  By this point we were both laughing.  A compromise was reached (He really didn't want me downstairs freezing) whereby i wore only a long sleeved shirt that didn't cover past the hipbones.

     i have to admit it felt very liberating.  The dreaded stomach was still covered, but i had a sense of risqué freedom that i'm not used to.  It felt a bit daring because the curtains were open, and it put my head in a very good place because He'd told me to do it.  There's still a side of me that just wants to embrace and flaunt anything kinky and sexual.  But i need someone to 'make' me do it.  If that makes any sense.

     i spent a good part of the morning dressed this way - most of it upstairs though, where it is warmer.  i wrote a journal entry.  i cruised a few websites.  i continued to feel restless.

     i went into the bedroom and bounced on the bed.  He put down His book and looked at me.  i took the plunge and blurted out my thoughts.

     "i want it ALL!  i want the clamps on my nipples - well at least whatever ones we can find that will stay on.  i want the kinky sex. i want ... i want ... "

     "And i need it now!  Soon!  Before i get to be 50 years old and look ridiculous!"

     i probably won't look ridiculous at all - but my aging fear hasn't reconciled itself around that fact yet.  i'll get there.  i hope.  Well i'll get to the aging part for sure anyway.  Sigh.

     Yeah.  i was topping from the bottom.  He agreed.  He didn't seem to mind that much though.  After all, no matter how omnipotent doms think they are, most of them still aren't mind readers.  

     He just nodded at me in that 'uh huh' way.  He was getting there.  But in His own good time. Not a good thing.  i just got fixated on waiting for the D/s He'd promised.  So i kept asking when it was going to happen.  All during the cooking and eating of breakfast.  Finally He very firmly explained that i should be patient.  Alrighty then.

     We worked together to clean the house.  i showered.  We were getting ready to go out.  (Did i mention that He actually cheerfully helped with the cleaning and we had a great time shopping?)  i sat down on a stair step and watched Him while He was reading, waiting for me to get ready.

     "What are you doing?"  He asked.

     "Being patient."  i replied.  He chuckled.  i asked what He wanted me to wear.  He figured me out then, and said black jeans, brown top.  Perfect.  When i was finally ready He asked for the day cuffs and had me kneel before them and put them on.  We went out and did the shopping part.

     Shortly after we got home, N and r came over for dinner.  i was still in feisty mode and kept kibbitzing with Him verbally, so He made me go change into something He would like.  We carried on with our visiting, and finally He took a moment from cooking to sit and visit.  But everyone sat at the kitchen table, instead of in the living room where i'd been hoping to be.  i love enjoying that part of the room.  i protested.  i didn't want to sit on the hard chair!

     Next thing i know He's taking my chair away from the table and putting a cushion on the floor.  Heh!  i decided i would just drag my cushion into the living room area where i wanted to be and so there!  i swear i heard r gasp in horror watching me.  And politely saying nothing as i was unceremoniously pulled back to the table.  

    So i spent the next half hour or so on the cushion - with the day cuffs attached, so that my movements were restricted.  But you know, i think we both enjoyed a bit of fun during this power struggle.  'Cause bottom line is He knows i wouldn't be intentionally brat like or disrespectful.  And mixed in with all of this He'd been putting His hand affectionately at my throat and giving me wonderful kisses.  That's continued right through to today.

     i think we are definitely finding our way back to how we work best.  Perfect. And i really have to find some kinky nipple (and other body parts) things.  Maybe a chastity belt ...........  

                

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