March 6, 2002

        i've been in a writing slump i think.  Or maybe it's just because it is so late when i get home during the week, and then i have other things that need doing on the weekend, that i just don't get the time.  It's so hectic at work that i usually just want to do something - anything - brainless when i'm at home.  Just veg out in front of the computer reading other people's journals or playing the sims.  Or crawling into bed with a good book.

     It's not that there aren't a ton of ideas rolling around in my mind.  Often during the day i will think "hey ... (topic) would be good for me to put in the journal."  And then i forget about it by the time i'm home, with the mood or tone of the thought lost forever.  That's frustrating.  Sometimes i will jot the ideas down, but then find them weeks later and they've lost their appeal.

     Ah well.  This journal is what it is i guess.  

       i went shopping with j and found some of the things i was looking for re the bellybutton/nipple ring thingys.  They aren't exactly what i'm after, but are good for a practice run - but we haven't had much of a chance to do so.  i haven't felt that great and again the busy schedules are getting in the way - even last weekend got filled up so quick that my threat of having an all-sex weekend simply didn't materialize.  By the time we cleaned the house, went out for dinner with friends, and had Himself's daughter over, the weekend was gone.  Heh.  i'm quickly becoming a strong believer in the concept of the shortened work week.  Now if we could just convince the government.....

     i did suggest something to Himself the other day, about establishing a new ritual to help me get my head in a good place when i come home at night.  He's considering the idea and hopefully will come up with something that He likes (or goes with the idea that i suggested).  i'd just like to continue with more of Him managing me after work hours - not precisely micro managing - but definitely more assertive.  i find it really hard to take my day out of my mind.  When i spend most of it in hyper drive, finding a way to slow down is something i just can't seem to get to.

     One thing that is occurring more regularly - last few Tuesday's in fact - is my sitting on a cushion in the kitchen.  He's gone off to class by the time i get home, so He's been leaving a small note on the staircase for me to find, which includes instructions to change into comfy clothes and what to start for dinner.  Then i am to pull a cushion in from the living room to the kitchen floor, grab a blanket, and sit and wait.  i love it.  i usually pour myself something to drink and grab a good book, then snuggle in.  It's becoming one of the most relaxing moments of the week.  i have no choice but to unwind and i haven't had to direct the unwinding myself.  i can cheerfully leave all my own daily decision making processes behind for an hour or so.  It's perfect.

     So all of this has been part of my motivation for wanting another type of ritual introduced, that He would participate in when i come home.  Nothing elaborate, but not something that i have to monitor by myself (like not wearing underwear.)  Something that might only take seconds or minutes, but that He actively enforces, to toss me out of the work mindset and strengthen the D/s mindset that we share.

     And tomorrow i get to sleep in past 6:30!  i finally took a day off in the middle of the week, after 4 months of never missing a day (although reluctantly being there sometimes!)  i scheduled in a doctor's appointment for both of us, and an eye appointment for me and maybe if we get lucky there will be time for a nice lunch in between.  

     i think my body sensed it was going to the doc's however, cause everything has started to hurt.  my left foot in the proverbial bunion spot absolutely aches all the time now, my lower abdomen cramps up without notice and one of my girls has decided to join the 'let's hurt' activity, although there doesn't seem to be any lumps.  Sheesh!  Probably after tomorrow it'll all bounce back the way it should and be done with it.  

     i'm pretty convinced i'll be sporting new glasses however.  i can't see very far away, and that is definitely getting worse.  But i've also discovered lately that my arms aren't long enough to read pill bottles anymore.  And i'm supposed to like my 40's ... why?

     First thing that needs to be done tomorrow, when we get home and to forget all this stuff, is to shave the pubics' again (Himself lets me grow the hair in before doc appointments.)  THEN, i'm convinced, everything will feel just fine and i'll be needing something ELSE to be aching.  

     please Sir?????

                

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