May 3,  2002

       Diva! continues to do her job. We haven't seen or heard a mouse for days now.  Not that she's catching any ... i think it's simply that the mice can smell her and have abandoned ship, so to speak.  And she's becoming remotely social - at least with me - she's still not too sure about Himself. She's also pretty vocal, so the name fits for sure.

      Himself had left me another note to find when i arrived home on Tuesday night.  It was very brief; a  "... cushion and cuffs ... bringing dinner home.." type note that has stayed in my mind ever since reading it.  "Cushion and cuffs"  is a good name for that ritual i think   This time He wanted the manacles however.  

      Tricky little devils they are to put on by oneself!  Closing them is easy, attaching the hasp thingy is not so easy.  But i got it done ... just in time for someone to knock at the door.  Now i was in a quandary.  Should i answer the door (it could be Himself bringing home dinner) or should i stay on the cushion and pray i can't be seen from the doorway.  i opted for answering the door only to discover a very nice little old lady canvassing for signatures on a "stop privatization of healthcare" petition.  Thank gawd it was still cold enough to be wearing a long sleeved sweater. While the rings on the manacles still clanked if i moved abruptly, at least they couldn't be seen!  

      i think Himself and i need some vacation type time though.  While we still have all the rituals in place and respect each other hugely, we don't seem to be getting to the point of playing.  Usually i'm home so late that we aren't even eating dinner until at least 9 p.m., and then i'm exhausted.  Our weekends have become about trying to cram in social life with our friends and trying to catch up on the house chores.  The list goes on.

       So what's happening is my head floats off to a great place when the manacles are around my wrist, and then we snuggle up together and go to sleep. Or we do things like put the new bed straps around the legs of the bed (a birthday gift for Him) and then we snuggle up together and ... go to sleep. 

       In a perfect world, we'd have been born rich!

      And a lot of the above wistful contemplation probably stems from the great scene we had at a recent party.  i want more!

      It was a great scene though - Himself decided to push me even with my now lily white, slightly wider butt being more sensitive.  It felt like He pulled out all the "big guns" and i was very surprised to discover that one of my favourite toys, the cane, stung like hell!  A very good indication that i need more practice, i'd opine. *eg*

     i vaguely remember trying to kick Himself and cursing "You son of a b*tch..." and hearing a few chuckles.  We do tend to get a bit .. passionate.. in our responses, when we scene.  i floated through the rest of the night and i'm beginning to discover that the 'subspace' or whatever you want to call it is like an aphrodisiac for me - especially around women.  Where hours before i kept my distance, after the scene i thought nothing of sitting close to j and being companionable.  And i remember a scene with MysticMz, where afterward i had no problem being held in a gentle hug by her.  On a normal day however, i keep my distance.  It's like my reserve around women drops off briefly and i can be more emotionally receptive.

      Another nice thing about the whole playing and getting to subspace thing is that i seem to totally forget that i'm aging and all that other nasty stuff.  i just get to a good place physically and emotionally and stay there for a nice long time.  

      i want more!       

                

      Hint:  email

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