June 17,  2002

       Okay, so i'm not improving in the journal posting department.  i swear it's not total disinterest!  i'll admit to feeling a certain type of writer's block happening, but it's not helped by the time crunch i'm going through.  i haven't even had a chance to paint lately.

      Not all the busy-ness has been a bad thing however.  We've gone out a lot and had company over - all good things to do.  One night was an oyster-fest - which i had mussels at instead.  Not a chance can i be talked into raw oysters.  Ick.  However, i was enticed into much dancing to the tunes of a Beach Boys cd that we women kept playing over and over.  i haven't done that in a long time!

     The next night i gave Himself an early Father's Day present.  All packaged nicely in the shape of a lovely blonde switchy/submissive type lady.  (Who's ultra thick hair makes me hugely jealous!)  But she is very .... yummy .. all the same.

      She arrived appropriately packaged in the shortest little knit dress that could still be considered legal on the street.  Barely.  She was carrying a brown paper bag, which she presented to Himself.  Inside was a box of crackers and some truly decadent cheese.  Then she ripped the bottom of the bag open and peered up through it at Him - to firmly establish the fact that she was indeed, the present.

      i made a passable dinner - although Himself did the barbequing of the meat.  We had some pleasant conversation while we ate, and had a bit of wine.  But it wasn't long before Himself was dragging His toy bag downstairs and His present was firmly tied to the new hooks in the beams.  All His toys were spread out as though on display across the quickly cleared dining room table.  

     i wasn't sure how i'd react to all of this, but it turned out to be fine.  Probably because our friend is a true lady and very inclusive of my presence.  Not to mention the fact of being decidedly bisexual.  That's a bonus.  And she's always quick to include me in some of her hugs.  

     Himself had her down kneeling on a cushion, then in the next instance tied to the beams - and started flogging with a rather heavy toy.  i flinched.  But i craved at the same time.  And i watched as her body responded to all that He was doing to her.  When He would pause, He would glance at me and indicate that i should approach her.  And i obeyed.  i ran my hands over her body softly. .. scratching with my fingernails ... and sometimes nipping with my teeth.  

      i loved participating just a small bit - but i liked watching even more.

     It wasn't long before she was a little puddle of mush on a cushion, and we were on either side talking softly and gently laughing as she floated along.  She and i ended up rolling around for a few moments together - she's so cuddly!  And next thing i knew i was being prepared for a scene as well.

      Much later:  i've just revisited this entry and realized that i didn't hit 'save' before uploading - nor when i closed the program apparently, since the remainder of the post is missing.  *sigh*  i can only hope i now remember what i wrote.  

      Or at least remember the sensations of that night well enough to describe them here.

      Because of the way our beams are designed three in a row, and because of the spacing and height (the middle one is short), when a submissive is tied to them, she finds herself facing and pressed against the center one.  This means that a protective cushion is required.  However, the 'present' decided she would be my cushion.  Baby!  So there we were, she leaning against the offending post, me pressed up against her and Himself happily flailing away behind us.  Only problem was every once in awhile she would return some of the offending bites i'd given her.  Wench!

     Part way through the scene i vaguely remember Himself warning her to watch out for my legs, and then proceeding to get nasty with a few of the toys.  This of course produced the exact effect He was looking for - me trying to kick Him away.  It never works.  He always has a great chuckle over it though.

     i've thought a lot about that night.  Mostly with very good thoughts, however, there's been a few "i wish's" mixed in.

     i wish i were back to my mindset of 15 years ago, when i was a mere 104 lbs and much more fit and not so conscious of my body's failings.  The 'present' happily trotted around buck naked (and looking very lovely), without any apparent misgivings.  i did get down to a thong only - big step for me.  And in retrospect, i clearly remember never getting buck naked in public even way back during the 104 lb. days.  Not even at the nudist camp i visited a few times.

     So i guess i was envious of her relaxed acceptance of her body.  

     And the other wish would be for a return to the way we used to have more regular nights just like the one described.  It seems like we can never find the time because of our schedules, and i suppose because of our familiarity now.  Yet i still miss the nights - i miss coming in on a Friday night to discover a note and cuffs and a waiting cushion.  What we have now has evolved into something special and wonderful and soul satisfying.  And like Himself said, playing with each other is on a much different level than what it first was when me met.  It's different.  In some ways extremely intense.  

     Ack, i babble on.  i think the 'wish' is for more time.  Or perhaps it's 'time' to take the desire off the wish list, and put it firmly on the 'do' list.

     Am i making any sense?    

                

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