September 29,  2002

        i'm exhausted.  And i was told i MUST do a post today - so here i am trying to stay somewhat cognizant, and awake.

       i don't know why i'm so tired though.  It was a busy day, but for the first time in a very very long while, i actually slept in until 10 a.m. this morning.  That is very rare for me. We went to bed at about 12:30 last night, which is a bit later than usual for us - but last night was the first preview of the new play and i was not going to miss being there to support Himself.

      The play is stunning.  It's in its infant steps - Himself and i discussed a few different places that seemed to stumble slightly. But for the most part, all went well and i think everyone involved was very pleased. And they should be.  They've worked hard.  Himself has worked himself into a fine state of tiredness, but last night proved his hard work was well worth the time and effort spent.

      i was particularly fascinated with the fact that i could detect his directing style while i watched the play unfold.  Several times i saw things that i just knew he'd choreographed.  And it's fascinating to think that he took the words and ideas of the writer, in their infant form, and shaped and molded them into a living breathing entity, for others to enjoy.  

      i am so very, very proud of him.  

      And okay, being the selfish creature that i can be, i admit to secretly liking the fact that i can tell people i'm sleeping with the director.  *eg* 

      While Himself has been so busy, my son and i have gotten in the habit of spending Sunday afternoons together.  It's been cool!  i like having adult children!  Well, almost adult, since they still need "mom" to help out a bit.  We've been hitting the grocery store, whereupon i buy him a variety of food-like things to get by on for the next week.  i say food-like 'cause i'm not completely convinced that boxed macaroni and cheese actually fits into any acceptable food group.  On the upside, he does like to pick soft tortilla wraps, cheese, lunch meat and lots of fruit.  We're still working on getting past iceberg lettuce as the only vegetable group.  

      Today was a bit more expensive.  The financially draining roommate is moving out, and a new (older and wiser) roommate is moving in.  In the interim, my son is trying to clean the apartment and make it more livable.  (Probably 'cause the new roommate is "older and wiser")  So he's trying to get rid of the very dirty and smelly old couch.  The new roommate's sister has a truck and said she'd remove it.  

      Now all this means they will become couch-less.  Which is where i come in.  Which is also how i found myself buying an early Christmas present today.  In the form of one futon and frame.  We opted for the very affordable, classic black metal frame and mattress that every young bachelor seems to acquire in his early years.  The same style that most self-respecting females quickly dump, along with all the rest of the guy's stuff, when they move in together.  After all, who can know what the guy *did* on that couch?  Ah well.  It will do for a few years.

      i was also talked into purchasing his birthday present.  He's in a basement apartment and the bedrooms only have tile floors, over cement.  Hence cold floors.  The store beside the futon place just happened to be a carpet place.  And of course they had the perfect one.  Happy early Birthday present.  (It's December 25)  The interesting thing was he was actually picking out beautiful carpets, carpets that most females would choose and that would blend perfectly in his apartment.  And would be dirty in a week.  He's a guy.  Another guy is sharing the space.  They have two cats.  They don't clean often.

      i talked him into the carpet with the muted colours.  The one that would be a bit more forgiving of not seeing a vacuum very often.  i figure some girl can whip him into shape later.  

      Heh.  i sound like a sexist mom eh?  Well i am!  And not ashamed of it either :-)

      In an effort to shed ten pounds (which everyone knows never ever happens 'cause the last ten is always the hardest) i've cut back on my carb intake.  It's been just a bit over a week, and i can't believe how much better my body feels.  It's certainly not looking any slimmer and anything, but i just feel better.  Not so bogged down.  

      But i also wonder if the past week of feeling better was because i wasn't taking any hormone pills.  i ran out at the beginning of the week and neither Himself nor i had a chance to get to the drugstore.  i'm back on them now, so i'll be monitoring myself to see if how i've been feeling is due to less starchy white foods, or because of the lack of pills.  i'm really thinking it was the lack of pills however.  i didn't feel bloaty, no hot sweaty sleep nights.  Nothing.  And today, after taking one pill last night, i have spent the day with sore breasts again.  This all has me worried.

      i need the estrogen.  i'm only 45.  That's much too young to have nothing in my system.  Without the pills, my hair will thin even more than the pills are causing it too.  i increase my odds on heart disease.  i already have osteoporosis - without the pills that will worsen very quickly.  Without the pills my body will advance a good 15 years into the aging process, before it should.  Internally and externally.  The only determent of the pills is the chance of breast cancer.  And the bloating puffiness of my body.  And if this past week proves true, not feeling quite as good as i could.  i'd probably drop ten pounds without trying.

      Hard choices.  Not that i want to rush things, but i think the decision would be a lot easier if i were already older.  i'm thinking i will speak to the doctor about lessening the dosage in the next few years, and try to find more natural source things to supplement my health.  

      Mother nature sure isn't very nice sometimes.     

 

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