November 16,  2002

      i think our regularly scheduled relationship is back on track.  Himself has been more insistent that i use my good manners and in turn has been more conscientious about doing the tiny things that make my heart go bump. (i was going to say "in the night" but that's too much information *g*)

     It's been great though.  When i got home from work on Tuesday, i found a large sheet of paper taped to my monitor, complete with a type written message of expectations - things He wanted done before He got home - and the day cuffs were taped on top of that.  Thursday we were off to dinner and a play.  At dinner He pulled out the metal cuffs and locked them on my wrists. And for once i didn't even flinch about the fact that we were in a public place!

      So, since our small talk a week ago, we've gotten back to the way we like things to be and it's been good.  We also decided to not have wine with our meals during the week, which has automatically put our heads in a place that treats the weekends as our special time - the way it used to be when i'd only be able to visit on weekends. 

      The first couple of days of trying this we hopped up from the table the minute the food was finished, which i didn't like at all.  i like spending some time talking after dinner, remaining seated at the table.  It's a catch up from the day type of moment that i believe is important.  So now i make a pot of de-caf tea and we sip on that.  

      Another thing that helped my mind was writing a nice long email to Him.  We haven't addressed some of my thoughts and ideas in it yet (life got too busy) but i haven't forgotten it.  Hopefully we get to discuss it soon and He'll share some of His own dreams with me as well.  Although in typical male fashion He's not always good at that part.  Heh.  Can i grumble "men" here?

      i haven't adhered totally to my "sketching every day" goals.  i have been better at that than updating this journal however!  i've posted a few of my feeble attempts in the "safe site" (for family and coworkers who don't need to be reading the thoughts here, thank you very much.)  (http://www.jemsites.com/wannabe.htm)

     It's interesting the way the "itch" has taken hold - that itch to hold a pencil and just try.  Now that i've started, it doesn't look like it's going to go away anytime soon.  And it doesn't seem to matter to me anymore if the work is good or not.  As long as i'm satisfied i made some progress, i feel i accomplished something.  i do want to get better though, so i'm still investigating where to take a course and decide if drawing or oil painting should come first.  i'm also hoping the right side of my brain will soon kick into gear and let loose my imagination.  i know it will eventually - i just have to find the triggers to allow it to happen.

     And if it does happen, will i go back to trying to write?  Who knows?  Perhaps if i find and push the imagination button, it will open all sorts of things that i know are in me - and just haven't found their way out.

     Now that would be cool.  Betty, and the kid with the long hair, is still living inside me.  i'd like to find their words and write them down someday.  Heh.  If i can learn to draw, they'd even have a face.

     Good news!

     Himself and the theatre company He belongs to are doing a production in the spring.  An inner-city school approached the box office people and asked for a reduction in ticket prices, to help get these kids to one of the matinees.  Himself really wants to help with this, but the cost of the production is phenomenal and there aren't too many corners to cut costs on.  After He'd explained all this to me, i got an idea.

     i fired off an email to one of the VP's at work, explaining exactly what i hoped to do (subsidize or completely pay for these kids) and how i hoped to do it.  Next thing i know, he's shown me how to reword the email to express my wishes and ask for sponsorship via a vendor donation.  Then we are on the phone with the chosen vendor - to explain in more detail the desire, plus the benefits the vendor will reap - and badda bing!  We have the donation of one digital camera to be raffled off at an upcoming event.  Proceeds to go to getting the kids to the show!  i am so happy!

      Maybe fund raising is my next career in this so-called life?  Lord knows i've had plenty of variety.  Why stop now?  And if it makes even one child's life a bit brighter - then that's a good, good thing.

     :-)       

      “Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.”
--Salvador Dali      

      Hint:  email

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