i received the following from someone i've known quite a long time now and who, together with his submissive/wife, has always been supportive:

     "There are always two parties to a death; the person who dies and the survivors who are bereaved. There are two parties to the suffering that death inflicts; and, in the apportionment of this suffering, the survivor takes the brunt." - K

     Wise words i think - and gratefully appreciated.  i suppose it's the curse of being human - we have the ability to hurt beyond the physical.  And no matter how careful we are to not hurt someone, inevitably we do.    

     Today's quote of the day fits here -  i particularly liked it, it's so true - no matter what, you always have yourself.  Are you good company? *g*

     i have totally fallen off the no-carb wagon.  i promised myself i'd be faithful to it starting this past Monday and it was a huge no go.  Ah well.  In spite of it all, i'm still not that big an eater, nor eating *just* carbs and *bad* carbs all the time.  i think i've lost a few pounds though, or they've shifted somehow (no the tummy  is not gone!), since i was able to get into a size eight pant this week (in Canadian terms this is not bad).  Which of course meant i had to buy them.  Along with the coat i'd had on lay-away for some time.  

     i was worried about the coat.  i was absolutely positive Himself wouldn't like it.  It's a rather errr.. eye-catching green and fuzzy swing style.  But it's absolutely fun and totally different from anything i normally pick!  i tend to shy away from bright colours - first because i don't "see" them very well, and second because i keep trying to convince myself that i'm too old.

     This time i got brave and said the heck with it.  The sales lady loved it, my co-worker was convinced and with the red in my hair, it's a statement.  i told Himself i'm simply in my ar-teest mode.  He'll have to endure :-)  Even if i do resemble a fuzzy green grape.

     Speaking of which, i've started another painting.  It's not going as well as i'd hoped - i believe it will definitely end up in the abstract rather than realist catagory, but i'm definitely learning.  i can sense a difference in my approach now.  i'm starting to be aware of things like the different lights of colour found in the eye.  Now if i can just figure out how to apply the paint to reflect what i see ...  Heh.  But i'm still having fun with it.  i think i'm enjoying the pencils sketches the most though - probably that instant gratification thing.

     Himself finally took the day cuffs off.  He's put them on me last Saturday and by Tuesday i got cheeky and asked if this was it - night cuff ritual over and i'd just wear the day cuffs.  He grumbled that He likes them on me (so do i :), but the next night He removed them and requested the night cuff.  The only draw back is that i can't seem to find the wrist ones - so we've been using the ankle cuff instead.  It's pretty funny sliding up and down my arm.  

     We are going to a birthday/play party at the end of the month.  Apparently the dungeon is *really* nice - not huge, but tasteful.  That's important in the grand scheme of this lifestyle i'm thinking - it's really easy to go over the edge and have something that looks like a bordello.  i remember one venue Himself used to tell me about, and also refuse to let me go into.  It's been closed for a long time now though.

     i've been hinting to Him that we might need to practice before the eventful night however, since we haven't had a scene since our New Year's Eve adventure.  Well except for when we are having a wee romp and He uses His hands on my butt - that man has huge hands!  Still, once every three months in public is not quite enough to keep my endurance levels up.  And then what good am i?

     i believe a lot of the people who were at the New Year's party will be at this birthday party as well.  That will be nice - it'll be a great chance to catch up with each other's lives and make some summer plans.  Winter is always such a hibernation time.

     So now i'm babbling ... time to go cook.  And i promise no bad carbs in this meal!    And at the rate i'm changing my little black and white pics on the sidebar, i either have to start searching or start drawing!    

               

     “Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.”
       --Salvador Dali           

      Hint:  email

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