April 12,  2003

         It's been an emotionally draining week.  So many changes have been happening at work - i barely feel like i'm keeping up anymore.  As of the 15th it's official though - i'll be in the new department and doing only one job!  Thank gawd - the pace of doing both of them has really worn me down.  This new position is more secure however, even if i do have to commute.  i was really hoping to avoid that part.  

      Transitioning off some of my work to others hasn't been the easiest of tasks.  By yesterday, if people saw me coming they cringed.  They knew they were about to be given something they really didn't want to do.  One poor fellow, after an hour and a half of explaining what it was he was being given and how to do it, could do no more than groan and hold his head in his hands.  i just kept smiling cheerfully.  

      Inside i've been crying - family things have come up again, which have managed to make me very, very hurt and sad.  My son has been wonderful though - although i'm not sure his remedy of feeding mom wine was the best choice last night.  Ouch.  Now i remember why we gave up on wine for awhile!  i think he's just as baffled by the problems that are happening - but when he makes comments to me like "the first step to growing up is not blaming everyone else for your problems", then i know i can't have been a completely inept mother.  

     Himself has gone on a trip - teaching Aikido at some seminar in Colorado - so i've had the house to myself.  i always look forward to having a couple of days to kick around on my own, and then hate it when they come.  i've grabbed the opportunity to clean up the office and i'm almost positive He's going to be ticked at me when He returns.  He hates it when i move around His stuff - but it's been at least 6  months since this room has been vacuumed.  i'm having trouble breathing!  It's also my art spot (i hesitate to say studio - i don't think i'm anywhere near that level yet) and when things are messy i can't work.  Drives me too crazy.  

      The night before Himself left He made me the most decadent meal!  Scallops sautéed in a blood orange sauce, baked potatoes, prime rib.  Yum.  He's such a good cook!  Hmm.. and He "cooks" pretty good in the bedroom too *g*  Very early the next morning i woke up rather abruptly - and very deliciously! Yum again.

      So with my mood swinging up and down (which is totally uncharacteristic of me thank you very much itty bitty hormone therapy pills)  when Mz K first called to go out for tea and cookies today i declined on the basis of needing to get the office finished.   But after i hung up the phone i continued to mull her persuasive words over in my brain and ended up calling her back.  Next thing i know she's at the door, i'm getting dressed, and out we go.  It was exactly what the doctor would have ordered.

     We sat and had some grown up girl chat (although lucky she's a good chatter as i still was a bit quiet) and she treated me to tea and a REALLY good cookie.  Huge cookie - took me forever to get through  it, but i was determined :-)  Then we went for a short walk - i took her to a small curio store close by where i buy very affordable and durable wine glasses.  Important qualities in this house - i have a tendency to break the expensive ones.  With the good company and the great weather i am now feeling  refreshed and better about everything.  Thank you Mz K.  *g*

     Okay - back to the battle of the dust bunnies.

PS- a very nice lady named Desiree and i have been emailing back and forth a bit - i'm hoping she gets into journaling, but until then i've linked her website under the Webrings link (top of this page) as a must see!  Below is her banner :-)