May 1,  2003

      Got my pay raise!  Not that it's a HUGE amount - but still, i can't help feeling really pleased with myself.  18 months ago i was working as a temp making ten dollars an hour - now i'm making substantially more and have a "title" in a department i never expected to find myself in.  AND i now have a credit card.  i'm a bit leery about that fact, but it's a necessary evil - especially when i don't have any real credit history.  If something were to happen to Himself (perish the thought!) i'd be pretty much stranded out in the big world - having credit would help ease the reality of that.  

     So when i got home last night, after my journalism class,  i found Himself and his brother in the kitchen, finishing off their meal and a bottle of wine.  i decided joining them would be a great idea!  Himself had saved some dinner for me, and within mere minutes i was presented with my own glass of wine and bbq steak.  Yum!  We sat around and chatted for awhile and then headed back upstairs to the office.

    These guys do not share the computers well!  i ended up sitting between the two of them and reading their online conversation with an ICQ friend we have.  They were in fine form and i swear they were trying to out-dom each other.  i think Himself decided to up the ante a bit 'cause next thing i knew i was having a knife run all over my upper body.  Another yum!  i don't know why i like this, but i certainly do!

     We didn't get to bed 'till at least midnight and both Himself and i are sluggish today because of it.  He's having an afternoon nap as i write this, and i didn't even bother to try to get to work today - opting for comfy clothes and doing a bit of work at home instead.  It was actually a bit more productive than going in though.  We are definitely getting too old to party!

     So my search for more black and white pictures for the sidebar continues.  It's proving to be more of a challenge than i'd first anticipated.  i really like them however - and until i can start sketching more often i want to continue putting in other people's work.  Problem is i end up spending hours surfing the net and getting nothing else done!  Ah well, it's probably good or me to have the down time - the rollercoaster busy-ness we have been doing lately keeps me too wound up.  And the family "issue" continues as well - which still has me feeling like i'm way out in left field somewhere - confused and dropping the ball.  So the occasional bit of diversional activity is a good thing.

     my big worry is that the family thing will never resolve itself.  And i've been keeping most of my thoughts inside.  i can't put them here - and i can't keep going on about it to Himself - it wouldn't be fair of me, nor healthy i imagine.  i've been trying to focus on only good things, and keep an optimistic outlook.  Aren't the bumps in the road supposed to be smaller as we age?