October 22,  2003

      And on the 5th day, He'll be home.  

      The Othello adventure ends very, very soon.  And i now wonder what it will be like not having everything to myself anymore.  i have a feeling we are going to have to readjust to each other.  i've been able to indulge my tidy streak.  i've been able to cook a piece of salmon (i did tonight) and call it dinner - without all the accompaniments and sitting in front of the computer to consume.

      And i know my new eating habits have contributed to shedding some of the pounds i wanted to get rid of.     No late dinners, and no carbs (yep i finally figured out that routine) and i'm now fitting into clothes i haven't worn in a long time.  Which i'm very pleased about.  

      But that has nothing to do with readjusting to each other.  Well it does - He's a great cook and i can't resist His food.

      i do know i'm ready for Him to be back here.  In fact, i hadn't expected to be quite this lonely.  Well i suppose i did, but for the first while i was in heavy denial.   That quickly wore off.  

      The weird thing is i keep having these truly erotic dreams.  If someone ever said that you forget the playing after a long time away from it, then they were wrong.  i'm now having dreams of being flogged.  i wake up from them - and try to fall back to sleep and recapture the dream.  my body is craving the pain and the pleasure and it's making me edgy.

      It makes me understand the ending of the book "9 1/2 Weeks", when she doesn't know what to do with her hands during regular sex.  

      i was quite grumpy last night and sent Himself a message expressing just how much i miss Him.  It's not often i admit to being that vulnerable.  i think he knows that and it struck a cord within Him, as i received a message back to wear the cuffs tonight.  That's the first He's requested them since before He left. 

      And maybe it's a taste of what is to come. 

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