November
1, 2003
In spite of all that is going through His head these days,
Sir aka Master aka Himself seems to be really trying to
reach beyond the dreary thoughts and stay connected with
what, and 'who', is happening around Him. No small
feat, when you consider what His life has been like these
past months.
He's definitely focusing on the D/s that is us. But
so am i. Trying to pay more attention and making
good use of the day cuffs seems to be lending a positive
slant to life in general. And of course the day
cuffs blend in even in Normal Land, which makes them a
natural tool of choice. Twice He's attached the
chain to both wrists, which restricts my movements, slows
me down, and makes me feel very elegant. He hasn't
fastened them that way in public yet - although i know He
will at some point, and i'll be struggling with my usual
self-conciousness again. But for now, around the
house it feels perfectly normal and right. And when
the chain is wrapped around one wrist only, i'm still
moving as though both wrists are involved, and surprised
to see that they aren't. That's a weird
sensation.
We seem to be practicing a subtle emotional dance around
each other. Both of us had a lot of alone time -
away from each other - and while i know we are both very
glad that's done, learning to share space again is proving
to be interesting. The strangest things trigger the
realization that He's really home. (Besides the fact
that the kitchen looks like a bomb has hit it and the most
yummy food is spewing forth as a result.)
Triggers: The phone is ringing a lot more.
There's an extra toothbrush in the cup in the bathroom,
which means my careful arrangement of toothpaste and brush
got rearranged. The once cavernous and painfully
empty refrigerator is packed. (i grumbled something
about that when trying to find an ounce of space to put
away things last night.) We've had way too much
wine. There's a bundle of clothes on the bedroom
floor. i can't read in bed in the morning because i
would wake Him up with my light on. And i can't lie
there waiting for Him to wake up 'cause i get
restless.
And i just want to spend all my time touching
Him.
i know there are triggers for Him as well, but i can't
really speak to them, as He hasn't shared and i haven't
asked. Most of them i think i can sense - the most
obvious being when He just wants to hole up under the
blankets with a book - by Himself.
i think what i notice the most is that we are gentler with
each other. The months before He left were not
great. We were grumbly, and edgy, and sniping way
too much. There's been a few moments like that
since His return, but easily recognized, dealt with, and
gotten over. In general, we've been much more
careful with each other - and i really think part of that
is from trying to express the D/s more.
The rituals are like an anchor that is grounding us.
And providing a good place to start from while getting
used to each other again. And they seem to be
enticing Him to participate more - with the cuffs - and
with some yummy spanking and usage of canes.
i forgot how much energy He brings to this house. i
wonder if i do the same.
PS
- i like today's quote.
PSS
- new story by me, with new pen name. i still read
it and hate it, but some people seem to enjoy. No
laughing allowed.
A
Birthday Surprise
