January  4,  2004

      So back to work tomorrow.  Blech.  i know that i would probably get bored if i didn't work - but i think i'd be really happy if it weren't 10 to 12 hours out of my day, Monday to Friday and sometimes on weekends.  Ah well.  Bills have to get paid, and i do admit i enjoy most of what i do.

      MM read the entry from yesterday and added some more thoughts:

"... that's exactly what I said yesterday... the submissive only has the initial control in my world. I do not offer the collar ... they must beg me to accept their leash. There ends their control! What happens after that is totally my decision ... with the exception of one thing. They always know where the front door is, and if they ever choose to use it without my consent, the relationship is finished."

"That doesn't mean they get a full collar from me ... that only means that if I accept their leash ... they get a training collar. A full collar only comes when they have spent at least a year in training."

      Heh.  Now this kind of thinking i understand.  What i don't understand is a new safeword i was told about last night.  Apparently the red/yellow/green safewords are not enough (and i don't even use those.)  Now "they" have come up with blue!  Huh?  And what does blue mean?  CHANGE TOYS.

      What!  Blow me over with a straw on that one, batman!  i'm going to holler blue, which means i'm telling Himself to change the bloody toy already?  Err.  i don't think so. Where do i begin to describe what would happen at that point?  Besides the fact that Himself would immediately end the scene.  All toys would be packed up post haste and i would be in deep, deep KAKA.  

       i'm thinking now that the whole D/s and or BDSM lifestyle is in the process of becoming nothing more than kinky sex.  And that there aren't very many submissives out there -or at least the ones that are, are being taught to behave in a way that gives up all the old values.  It's almost like women's lib all over again.  i guess that's okay for most people now - but it sure is confusing the heck out of me.

      It feels like people are taking something beautiful and traditional, and bastardizing it.  Sort of like putting orange pekoe tea in the pot, during a Japanese Tea Ceremony.  Destroying the beauty of something pure.

      Blech.

      i have to think about this more.  i do know one thing for sure however.  There's not a prayer you'll hear the word blue pass my lips in any concept except art.  Well, okay and clothing.  Blue's a good colour on me.

      Toys are good on me too.  Here's a toy-porn shot. *eg*

(This is a nasty one!)